Emotions.... feel.... express.... use.... grow

As I said in my last post - I am angry, sad, scared, anxious, frustrated.... and at the same time I feel a deep sense of connection and love and compassion and warmth.

Those are my emotions and they are what fuels the actions that I am engaging in and how I interact with people.  Being able to name and feel each of those is critical to being able to continue to move forward on the actions, advocacy, self-work, and to be able to be there to engage with and support my friends, loved ones and communities.  Over the past few years during much of my work in mindfulness and on my own self work, I have realized the importance of being able to identify the feelings and to sit with each of them - I don't need to change them, I need to be able to sit with them, feel them, identify them, and let them help me grow.  The full range of emotions helps me to be more aware, softer and able to be more compassionate with myself and others, to be more empathetic, and to be stronger overall.

“The only reason we don't open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don't feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes. ”― Pema Chodron

It is also my job to teach my daughters how to feel emotions without having identify any emotion as right or wrong, but recognizing the importance of being able to feel all of them and to use the information we get from the emotions to help us grow and to guide us to engage in action and to be able to empathize with others.  I don't want them to shy away from uncomfortable feelings or to think they are something to hide.  It is not their job to make others more comfortable by hiding their emotions - it is their job to learn to feel and experience them and to use the feelings to move forward.  It means sitting with them with their emotions and helping them learn to name them, feel them, learn from them and move forward.

“…feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we’d rather collapse and back away. They’re like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are.”― Pema Chödrön

Emotions are intense.... and there are many of them that are being felt and expressed right now by everyone in the midst of the battle for racial and social justice.... all of them valid and important and in need of being expressed.  Almost everyone I know is feeling very intense emotions right now - and how they express those emotions is very very different.  One thing that struck me recently on a walking meditation, was how in nature - it is the confluence of all the different manifestations of things that brings about the greatest and most lasting change.  It is not just the single rainstorm - it's the violent storms and floods, combined with the periods of long dry spells, combined with long slow rains we experience.... It's the ebb and flow and rise and fall of the rivers and streams that creates the canyons.... It's the gusts of wind and the periods of stillness..

Likewise, for us to achieve real change for our communities - it takes ALL of our voices in all our different manifestations of emotions to really create powerful, long lasting change.... There is a place for all the emotions in the process of bringing about the change.  There's space for the anger and the fear and the frustration - and it's ok for your anger/fear/frustration to look and feel differently than another persons - and it's ok for what is your greatest push to be different than your loved ones.... But we can work together to have our voices come together as a loud symphony rather than single instruments.

“Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”But I say unto you, they are inseparable.Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.”― Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

My voice and action comes out in acts of love, support, caregiving, nurturing, advocacy and writing.... I have other friends who are people of action - they need to act on the anger and express the rage and frustration physically and in a very loud voice and express some really heavy strong anger.... I have others who are feeling caught in the crosshairs of anger, grief, frustration and anxiety about loved ones who are on 'the other side' (police/military/etc), who are trying to figure out how to balance both.... I have friends who are struggling to really learn and understand their privilege and how to use it (shit I'm think this is something all of us with privilege should continually be working on but that's me).... I have friends who are angry and frustrated and want to participate in protests but are also dealing with the very real concerns and fears of illness for themselves or family and the risk of exposure to illness.... And I could go on and on.... All of these voices are STRONG and REAL and IMPORTANT!!!  And I think that it is only by embracing and understanding all of them and letting us each express and embrace our way of feeling and expressing and using our emotions can we grow individually and together to create one amazing environment/community/period of change.... And maybe when we are comfortable facing our own emotions and channeling and learning from them, we can also learn some compassion for ourselves and each other and be able to harness all of the power of all of the differences to make a better world for our children....

“Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.”― Kahlil Gibran

The responsibility of privilege

i am angry.... I am sad.... I am scared.... None of what I feel is even a fraction of what my loved ones and family of color experience on a regular basis; what they live with....

I haven't posted anything publicly yet about the prevalent racism, hatred, murders, and the increased visibility of the violence against people of color because I've wanted the space to feel all the emotions and MORE importantly to check on my friends and loved ones of color and to spend time just being and feeling with them and standing with them.  And to use the time to have conversations with my two daughters about our responsibility to stand between our loved ones (and those at risk of receiving this violence) and danger and what that means - how we should be using our privilege.

Previously I've written about my own history and development of relationships that have influenced my own understanding of my privilege and the importance of diverse friendships and connections - Hacienda de Abrazos: What if....

A lot has been written about our responsibility to address systemic change from our place of privilege and I agree with all of that.  (See the article 75 Things White People Can Do)  And I agree, this level of systemic change is critical.  When I started NextStep Evaluation, public service and outreach philosophy was a key component.... now more and more our work is guided by social justice and equity perspectives.  Almost all of our work includes a focus on reducing disparities, advocating and advancing equity - it undergirds all the work I do.  This includes identifying and addressing my own limitations, privilege, and biases and working to constantly educate and address those things in myself and to help the communities I work with (and my community) to effect the systems and bring change.  This also includes educating our white children (and those with privilege with high income and other resources) about how to see the disparities, understand the history and the impact of those historical and current situations, and to ACTIVELY work to build environments that correct and adjust and build systems based on love and support and actively fight against and protect against the hatred, separation and violence.

However, I think I would shift one thing in the article - we need to build relationships and our own ability and our children's ability to love and protect and advocate for each other.... Even as we work together to address the systemic problems in our society - I think there are some things even closer to us that we need to be doing DAILY to address the racism, violence, and hatred our black and brown neighbors and loved ones face (to me these are one and the same group)....

1.  Stop shielding our white children from the past.  Last year I took my girls to the Cherokee museum on our way to camping in the Smokies.  My youngest was in love with the historical pieces and in finding out more about her ancestors... until we hit the section about the trail of tears when I saw her crumple to the floor.  So we sat and we talked about it - and much like we did when we went to Monticello and to the Civil Rights Museum.... we had the hard conversation about WHY I needed her to stand up and read and learn about this part of it too.  That without knowing the painful past, we cannot fully understand the privilege we have and why it is so critical for us to work to change things and to protect those who need it.  Each year the girls and I try to visit places where they are exposed to the historical pieces and we have the hard conversations about what that history means even for people today.  I took them to Monticello the year they were studying Jefferson in school - and yes we toured the slaves quarters and had the conversation about what it meant and what it says about the man they had studied (again we had the pause while Natalie absorbed it, cried pretty hard as she realized what it would have meant for her relationships, and talked about how she can use that knowledge). Stop sugar coating the history of the founding fathers - it is possible to acknowledge that some great discoveries were made by someone who also had some pretty horrible practices.  Make it real. Some resources I have taken the girls to are:  The Tubman Museum in Macon, GA; The Civil Rights Museum in Atlanta; Monticello in Virginia; Cherokee Indian History Museum in Cherokee NC.... We also plan to visit the Wren's Nest in Atlanta; the King Memorial in Atlanta; the The National Memorial for Peace and Justice museum in AL, and I'm always looking for other opportunities.  (NOTE not all of these use updated language but they provide a good basis and provide an opportunity to educate your children and yourself - even if you read and find contradictory information you want to share and teach your kids about).  Where have you been and recommend going?

2 -Educate ourselves and our children - Find books to read to educate yourself, read articles and blogs, do the hard work to face yourself and teach your kids to do the same.  Have books available and common throughout the house that include a wide variety of characters and topics - make it commonplace for them.  My girls know that at least have of my hard copy book shelf includes books by Maya Angelou, Alice Walker, Octavia Butler, and Toni Morrison (for right now - that shifts over time but those are consistent).   Include both books about addressing inequality and disparities and also just about life.... Even light things - my favorite princess is Tiana (for many reasons - strong ass lady who cooks ups a storm and starts her own business and saves pretty much everyone - yes please.... although lets face it - I'm probably as much Mama Odie as Tiana) 

3 - Be able to sit with discomfort, to name it, to experience hard things... and help your kids to do the same.  When you see or hear or feel something that nudges you or makes you uncomfortable, has you questioning things you may have taken for granted, not done and thought about again, or just something that made you uncomfortable - learn to sit and unpack it.  Help your kids to do the same.... think and write about why you feel that way and what you may or may not do about it.  Stop hiding from the legitimate anger, fear, sadness and grief.... our brothers and sisters don't get the privilege of hiding from it and neither should we. 

4 - Learn to use all of that information and your voice to stand up for, protect, and learn from our friends/colleagues/peers/neighbors of color.  Teach your children the importance of using their privilege to stand up for and with their peers of color.  During a recent hiking trip, I took the time to once again have the conversation with the girls about what they should do if they see someone being mistreated or bullied or isolated.  This also led to a conversation we have periodically as they get older and have more and more opportunities where they will be out with their friends and classmates without us - what to do if they are out and one of their friends (or a group of their friends/classmates/peers) is approached or detained by security or police or other adult.  This is a hard conversation to have but an important one.  I teach both of the girls - and they will both tell you - that their responsibility is to text myself and their dad that they need us and where they are but that they are to STAY with their peer/classmate/friend/neighbor until we get there - even if that means going to a police station with them or getting into trouble with the other adult.  They are to stay with their friend at all times - we will be there (most like with other child's parents) ASAP.  I let them watch some things with on news reports and other documentary/based on real life movies about why this is so important. 

5 - Create and look for relationships with diverse families and individuals.  I have been blessed over the past 20 years to build relationships with black families, refugee families, Hispanic families, bi-cultural families.  They have occurred naturally and are now the family that I have (I have lost contact or been disowned by most of my biological family).  My daughters and I are frequently in the minority at social gatherings and quite comfortable about it.  It is home for us.... It has also normalized it and created greater opportunities for my daughters to have close relationships with a very diverse group of families.  These are families we spend nights at each others houses, they are the family I call when things are rough, they are the folks my girls call aunt and cousin.... The opportunity to have these rich fullfilling relationships across racial lines is one of the things I love best about my life....

6 -Look for opportunities to take the girls places where we are the minority (not just family events - but community events).  This is so important - first to provide the experience of many enriching activities that they would miss otherwise and to celebrate the vibrancy that diversity brings and two because it provides the opportunity for the kids to build empathy and understand and comfort with being in a wide range of places with a wide range of people.  I LOVE taking the girls to the UniverSoul circus each year, taking them and to parks in neighborhoods that are primarily African American or Hispanic, going to plays that our friends are performing in that are in parts of town that are more diverse than ours, taking them to cultural locations and places that are neighborhoods that are primarily black, Hispanic, refugee, immigrant and a wide variety of incomes.  Sometimes this means being uncomfortable and that's ok.... it also is an opportunity to forge friendships and connections outside of our own bubbles.

7 -In all things show love.... Sometimes this means being angry, protective, nuturing, and defending others.  It means understanding and building empathy for the vastly different experiences we have.  It is sitting quietly and listening, educating ourselves, and looking for ways to support, protect and nuture and to take care of each other. 

Anxiety and fear that we feel is nothing compared to what our loved ones have been carrying
Read, educate, LOVE, stop sheltering our children and teach them to be STRONG IN LOVING and protecting....

If you know of any good reads or experiences - please share - We have to do the work ourselves and even more critically we need to keep working to help our children create, have, and maintain a safer, more loving and connected community....

The power of language.... I now understand why my mom wouldn't allow certain words

Today in the car, my oldest said that she 'hated broccoli'.  I looked over at her and said that was a very strong word for something that did not seem to deserve that much emotion.  We then went on to talk about how my mom only had a very few rules for us but one of them was that she did not like to hear us use the word hate - at all - we could say that we strongly strongly strongly disliked something (or even someone) but you got the mom eye if you used the word hate.  It was something drilled into me in my youth - we do not hate, we can dislike but hate is a word that holds much more than just dislike. 

Curse words..... Most of you that have met me in person know I have the mouth of a sailor  :) (and honestly probably always have), but in my family - words like hate (and other shaming words) were considered more a more serious offense than most curse words.  I like to think that this is still how I walk through the world.  And yet - I often see the word used in a range of ways and even in too much of an every day way.    My mom often told us that regardless of how much someone or something had hurt us, how much distance we needed to put - that we should not move toward hatred.

There is entirely too much to love and too much warmth needed in this world to spend much time thinking about hate - and often it is in those most uncomfortable places where love and warmth is the most needed (both inside ourselves and in others).  When I see emails like the one that a friend received today... With a tag line of "Clean Old-fashioned hate" - it makes me wonder what message we send to each other and to our children when we use this language.  Language does matter!  Disclaimer - this was an email for a local rival football game - something most people are completely ok with

As I was talking to my daughters, they asked why so much emphasis was put on the word hate in particular - and we talked about how it encompasses much more than dislike - it involves a layer of anger and cruelty that goes beyond not liking, it is a word and an intensity that more easily leads to action.  And honestly - it's a lot shorter easier word to say and let that level of anger and intensity grow - than if you have to slow down and think about it and say "I really really really don't like.... "  It also carries a permanence with it that is deeper than dislike.  It sows seeds in our hearts.... and I personally want to be too busy growing a garden of joy, yumminess and warmth to worry about sowing hurtful seeds.

We went to see the new Malificient movie the other night - and without giving away too much of the movie - within moments of the movie starting I was physically reacting to the amount of hatred being conveyed toward groups within the film.  I commented to my friend that while I understood such hatred existed, I hoped I was never comfortable with it - and more importantly I hope my daughters are never comfortable with it.

I laughed when one of them asked why we took the backroad to get somewhere, and I started to respond 'because I hate driving in heavy traffic' - they both looked at me and laughed and said 'Don't you mean you strongly dislike it".... I laughed, thanked them and said "YES"  - So we made pact that from now on - the H word is a bad word in our house....

This house does love, crazy, silly, magic, wild, and nutty.... And if we focus on doing all that - who has time for the H word (as my mom would say :) )

Love more.... be awesome.... Abrazos y besos!

Stop waiting....

This time of year brings me a steady reminders of why it's important for me to embrace every moment and experience, to spend time with friends (old and new) in good deep conversation and quiet moments, take risks, experience new things, host and share and enjoy my loved ones....

I recently ran across an article "In Praise of Scruffy Hospitality" and it resonated so soundly with me.  My mother used to believe that even though we didn't have much, our house would always be one of hospitality where people wanted to gather (in particular our friends when we were growing up).  That while our furniture may be a hodgepodge of family antiques, yard sale finds, and hand-me-downs.... and the house I largely grew up in was very old and needed more work than we would ever finish.... and while it was often too warm in the summer and too cold in the winter..... there was always a comfy chair, good conversation, a warm or cold drink, and some sort of random assortment of food and munchies we could put together while we gathered on the porch or in the living room and talked, visited, or played cards....

Like my mom, I'm a terrible housekeeper - I neither like nor am terribly good at cleaning :) - but my house is usually reasonably neat and hopefully comfortable.... and at the end of the day, spending time with and sharing moments with my friends and loved ones (and the pups) is much more valuable to me than spending hours cleaning.  Rather than waiting until I have the time, energy and money to put together the perfect coordinated meal at a well organized table  - I love nothing more than picking up my kids from school or camp and deciding to put a call out to see who feels up to a fire in the firepit, a crockpot full of chili, and whatever other random sides I can find or folks feel like bringing.... I don't want to wait.... I want to enjoy my friends and loved ones when life is good and up and abundant and when life is tough, messy, and a little tighter....

I am the same way with furniture.... Why wait until my house is perfectly decorated to use and enjoy it?  I have a bit of a bargain shopping habit and have become addicted to the facebook marketplace and finding wonderful deals.... Recently I've bought a couple of beautiful hardwood pieces that need a lot of work.  When I picked up one of them, the lovely older woman who was selling it was shocked to hear me say that I would just be putting it in my living room and would get around to refinishing it sometime but it would be a bit.... (she also was concerned that I didn't have a man to help me unload it but rather assured her that my daughter and I had this....)

Life was meant to be lived!  By finding the beautiful pieces at beautiful prices :)  I can enjoy them, and my people, and my life.... I will get them refinished in time, but I'm not going to WAIT until everything is perfect to enjoy all aspects of it - if I did that I would miss all of the mess that makes life the most beautiful mosaic.... Plus I think that my hodgepodge of furniture is a reflection of me - slightly messy, comforting, eclectic, enduring, attractive even, flawed but more beautiful and richer for those, strong and lasting, stable, and inclusive.....oh yeah and most of it was a bargain.... :) (much like my hodgepodge of dishes at most of the meals at my house - spaghetti with a side of guac and chips?  why not?) 

So if you have been to my house.... I hope you are comfortable with some 'scruffy hospitality'.... you will always be greeted with a warm smile, something warm (or cold depending on the season - it is GA after all) to eat and drink, and some messy but good company and conversation :)

Tender Holidays

This week is a tender one in many ways for a lot of people.  As everyone prepares for the upcoming holidays (whatever holiday traditions you celebrate), please remember that for some of us - the holidays are tender, still joyful often but deeper and often with a strong undercurrent of memory, loss and grief.  Have more patience with that colleague who seems short tempered this time of year, reach out and spend time with your friends who may or may not have extended family, spare an extra smile compliment, laugh, or tip with that sales person, server, or other people you run into - regardless of their spirit at the time - it could change their whole day.  Give your friends and loved ones space to sit with all the range of emotions that hit - we don't need to be happy all the time.  If you have waves this time of year, ride them - let yourself experience all of the range of emotions, and find things that feed and soothe your soul....





Seven years ago my mom was sick (sicker than I realized at the time) and still had a lot of pain from a broken ankle a few years previously.  We were planning on Thanksgiving at my in-laws but mom was uncomfortable staying there for several reasons, including a full house, her pain, and sleep patterns.  So to make sure she spent the holiday with us - I got her a hotel room, right on the beach where she had her own whirlpool tub to soak in and a balcony she could open and listen to the waves.... For my water baby mom this was wonderful. 


She did pretty good through the holiday, and the day afterwards asked if I would take her over to see her dad in a nursing home in Williamsburg.  So just the two of us went off to see him.... I wish I had known it would be the last good chunk of time I would spend with her.  The next day she told me she was feeling very badly and was ready to go home so would be heading out.  She called when she got home and we all just assumed it was a bad case of the flu or a cold.  It was the last time I saw her..... At Christmas she was too sick to travel to us and by the time I got there to bring her down after her birthday she had died....

Thanksgiving was her favorite holiday, even though often it was just the three of us (myself, her, and my brother) and maybe a family friend or two, with very simple fair - she loved turkey but our side dishes were usually pretty basic green beans (not casserole), salad, pumpkin (baked not pie), corn and potatoes (either sweet or mashed with onions), and homemade gravy (always homemade).  Usually we caped off the day with a walk or drive around to look at lights or with a drive out to one of the local trails to walk around a bit when she was able.  Unless we were traveling and visiting others for the holiday, we didn't do Black Friday shopping.... opting instead for visiting friends, checking out local trails, or putzing on house projects (there were always projects to do around the house when you grow up in a 100+ year old home)....

I miss her daily but also know that she is still with me - she is laughing at the journey, celebrating the growth, and shaking her head at the follies.... I have in my head a lovely vision of her, my dad, my aunt and uncle, and a few other dear close friends gathering at a campsite by a trout stream to talk and laugh at the follies and adventures of those they have left here and tossing little reminders of them to us as we need.... So as I get older, I find myself returning to simpler ways and activities, particularly this time of year....

Support or Sabotage.... What do you bring?

Words matter - how we respond to each other matters - and impacts each of us significantly.   Have  you ever had someone tell you about a significant life goal or vision that they are working toward?   Have you ever had a significant life goal and vision that you wanted to be actively working toward?  And you wanted to tell someone about it?   How did they respond?






Words matter - when we respond to someone's vision and goals with positivity and support, we lend wind to their wings to continue to work and reach toward those goals.  When we respond with doubt or challenges, how often do we limit what they see as possible and do we diminish their own vision and spark and joy.

Recently I was sharing my own vision with an associate and her comments really unsettled me a bit.  Her response was "Well it's good to have dreams even if we never achieve them"  and I just kind of laughed it off at the time, but I also thought about it for quite awhile.  There was a time when that would have significantly shaken me and caused me to spend time doubting the importance and drive toward my goal.  It may have even caused me to start doubting the achieve-ability and  value of my vision.  Thankfully this time it made me focus more on my long term goal and to realize that it isn't for everyone to understand, but it is for me to achieve and reach. There are other people I have tried to talk to about what I am working toward with the Hacienda and they listen initially but then will ask and joke about 'my commune' or other comments that indicate both a humor about the goal but also a clear lack of understanding or interest.  Initially this stung as much as the comments that I might not reach the goal because these were from people I expected to understand and engage with the idea.  However, I've learned that not everyone will be supportive but that should not ever change my intensity or drive to achieve my vision.  And the people who are close to me and who truly know and support me will also see the vision and the value.

How often when you hear someone talking about their goals and dreams do you encourage them and support them?  How often do you respond with subtle sabotage?  Do we know how to truly support the dreams and goals and visions?  I challenge myself and others to begin to respond with more encouragement, without qualifications or limitations, to be able to just listen and encourage without judging or critiquing.  There may be times when more critical comments or recommendations are desired, but when initially hearing or during vulnerable sharing time, respond with simple encouragement.  Think about whether our words shut doors just as they are starting to open, or do they provide some energy to keep the door open and energy flowing.

What does this type of support look like to you?  Have you ever felt shut down or sabotaged when sharing a vision?  Have you felt supported?  What did each feel like?  For me the support is as simple as listening when I feel like sharing my vision and as complex as giving me ongoing feedback and recommendations for ways to explore different aspects related to the vision (in my case, exploring other similar locations and ideas as well as building the skills necessary to implement the aspects of the Hacienda).

Elizabeth Gilbert has an essay on The Crab Bucket where she talks about how as we get closer to making significant growth and changes in our lives we often draw the most critiques and resistance from those close to us (and I would include our own internal critics) and that these voices are fighting to keep us back with them instead of supporting us to reach for things that may take us away or on to broader things.  Which place and what role do you want to play in the bucket and to your friends and loved ones?  I would rather be seen and viewed as someone who helps my friends and loved ones reach for their visions and dreams - even if it takes them away from me.  I want to be the person that my friends and loved ones and colleagues can share dreams and visions with and walk away feeling supported and encouraged to continue to reach for them, to believe that it is within their power to achieve any of their hearts desires.  Even when discussing the challenges of reaching for dreams, I would like to leave them with a feeling of general support and encouragement and that someone believes they can achieve it.  I try to do this by avoiding qualifiers, providing safe space to brainstorm, and helping them think through or around any challenges or blocks that they may see to achieving the dream/goal.

How can we move to a culture of support for each other in stead of sabotage?   How do we each ask people about their goals and dreams?  And how do you respond when they share?  How can we make each other richer in those interactions?

The power of teachers

I have had several conversations and interactions lately that have reminded me of the power of teachers - for both good and not so good.  Teachers have the power to shape, inspire, lift, and enrich us as well as the power to wound, limit, and cut us.

"With great power comes great responsibility" - Spiderman

Recently there have been a few situations that have caused me to revisit my own experiences with teachers - on both ends of the spectrum.  I'm not going to share the those stories (for they belong to others and they are their story to tell) but I will share some of my own.....

From the ones who try to break us -
The middle school social studies teacher who tried to shame me by taking a letter I was writing in class (yeah I was in the wrong in some ways), shredding it, and then taping it back together after class to take me to the principal the next day for calling her a b*tch (btw - thanks mom for standing by me and saying you were sure I had said worse about her and maybe the teacher needed to consider all the circumstances - like coming back 3/4 of the way through the year and being uber negative about the long term sub we all loved)

The kindergarten and first grade teacher who left my reading level below abysmal and had no interest in trying to instill a love of learning.

Athletics and dance teachers who kept such an aggressive pattern with instruction and demanded more than 100% or I wasn't good enough.....

To those who inspire growth, love, ongoing learning and enthusiasm for life....

My high school forensics coach and literature teacher who passed along his passion, shared books and classic films that I now know many people don't experience until college or later, who encouraged me to challenge myself and become state ranked in public speaking.  He was passionate about supporting and encouraging all of his students and created a classroom where so many thrived.  It is because of him that I discovered a love of stories like "The Lottery" and classics like Casablanca (please don't ever say Play it again Sam.... that's not the line....) and Invasion of the Body Snatchers (the original)

My summer camp counselor who helped me see that smiling made more friends than being scared and that every change was a chance for something new and wonderful to happen.  She helped me embrace transitioning to a new school and to continue to thrive during a period of major upheaval in my life.

My elementary school teacher who changed my reading level from below kindergarten to 2nd grade or higher all in a year.... and who continued throughout my life to inspire my love of reading.  Her daily reading opportunities, reading to the class challenges, and her gentle manner will forever be with me.  "Flattery will get you everywhere"

My college professor who pushed me, encouraged me, and is largely responsible for me taking the leaps and risks I did over the years to always continue to seek out the path that is right for me - no matter how unorthodox.  There will always be a pink flamingo in my yard now in honor of her.....

To my mentors and parents who helped me learn and see that life is what I make it and that continually learning and challenging the norms can lead me to create the life that I really want for myself....

To my more recent tango teachers and life teachers - who challenge me, who gently encourage, who can read when I need to be yelled at and when I need to be encouraged, who help me peel back the layers that are blocking me, and who have helped to enrich life.... To those who told me "Walk Like A Queen"  and to "Be Seen!  Show UP"....

There are many others who have played a role.... THANK YOU  to all of them, all of you.... you have enriched my life and my journey.... never underestimate the power that a teacher can have on someone.....

When you are the teacher what do you want people to take away from interactions with you?

Who were your memorable teachers?  What lessons do you carry with you?