Staying wild....

 

A quote in my morning meditation hit me in the face the other day....

"To be heathen means to belong to the wild, to take our lessons from the natural world, and to be nourished by what we fundamentally are rather than what we are told we must be." - The Holy Wild

When did the words heathen and wild become bad words or things to be avoided.... Why do we feel the need to hide and change who we are to fit a more 'civilized' world?  What changes can we truly make when we embrace our natural selves and listen to our deepest truths.... When we follow the lessons from the natural world and engage with our deepest strength, heart, and soul.... How much can we change and free ourselves, our communities and mother earth....What beauties, connections, and growth can we foster and realize.... How much healing of ourselves, relationships, and wounds can we begin when we step out of the forced civilized and expectations and return to fundamentals?

"They trusted their instincts, followed their passions, willfully shaped their days into the lives they most wanted to lead." Phenomenal

Often I find myself most at conflict when I fight against my own natural inclinations.... this is when I am the most uncomfortable and hurt and struggling.  It is when I return to myself, to my own sense of wild - that I come home and I remember to let mother nature nourish and fulfill me - to set my own spirit free.  It is in this embrace of my deep roots and the connection to the natural world that I remember the importance of deep roots, connection to our own strength and tender areas, the power and beauty that exists in diversity, and the great beauty that exists by allowing things to take their natural course and the wide variety of beauty that occurs.

"In the heart rests both the tree's strength and its weakness." Ecology of a Cracker Childhood

Often our greatest strengths and our weaknesses are the same - we see this in the natural world and can learn from that.  It is my very tenderness, my deep emotions, my wildness that many may say are my weaknesses - however those very things also give me the strength to withstand many storms, to provide nurturing and care for my loved ones in each of their respective struggles, that allow me to tune into empathy and gentleness and send more out into the world.... it is those things that have given me the strength to withstand the storms of life and to come through a little taller, more flexible, and more nurturing.....

"The seasonal migrations of my life, the initiations, would never end. There would always be a proving ground to face. But acknowledging and embracing this was crucial to moving forward." Phenomenal 

"We do not live outside or inside of nature. We are nature. We are not separate from each other [..] and our fates are intertwined, always." Phenomenal

So often on my hikes and wanderings - even in my own garden and yard - I'm reminded of how interconnected we all are and how connected we are to our mother earth.  The diversity that exists and surrounds us in the natural environment is a lesson to all of us about how important we are to each other and to our world.  The moss and new growth that is dependent and growing on the trees, the variety of trees that grow to create the most beautiful forests, the variety of fall colors that exist most beautifully in forests of diverse trees, the way a field of multiple wildflowers is as breathtaking as any manicured garden could ever be, the way fungi and other new growth sprouts up throughout the forest in a range of colors, shapes and descriptions.... We can learn by watching the way different trees and plants and animals flourish in different environments - the old live oaks along the coast, the range of wild sea birds, the feel of the soft ground with a myriad of growth on it, the hidden sources of nourishment and strength.... All of this is lessons for us

We depend on each other, we are stronger together, and our lives are more robust and more beautiful when we allow ourselves to live freely and we provide the safety and opportunity for our loved ones to do the same.  The more we seek to accept our neighbors, friends, and others - just as they are - and provide the space, opportunity, and acceptance for them to grow along their journey - the more that same opportunity comes back to us and we have the chance to create a richer and stronger self and world.  

"nature wouldn't ridicule you, would let you play. Oblivious, it went about its business without you, but it was there when you needed some gift, a bit of beauty: it would be waiting for you." Ecology of a Cracker Childhood

Natural environments have always been my escape place.  They are where I run to when the hurt gets to be too much, when I need to recharge, when I need to remember who I am and what is important (to heal the broken heart, to commune with the ancestors, to focus and remember what I want to offer back out to the world).... In these environments I feel the safety to play or grieve or laugh or sing or just be - in whatever way my spirit needs.... It is consistent and accepting in a way that so much of the 'civilized world' is not.... It does not expect me to be anything but rather just accepts me exactly as I am in that given moment.  I'm still learning to do this for myself - so that I can continue to grow stronger in my own voice and self - outside of expectations - and so that I can offer safe space for my loved ones to do the same.  Imagine what a difference that this shift could make for all of us?  If we allowed ourselves to turn to the natural world and be our most authentic selves and provide the space for those around us to do the same?  Imagine what a change this could bring to all of us and to our communities?  If we could recognize and support and encourage the diversity and individual growth instead of fighting for things to fit into a box society made for them?

I often refer to my daughters as wildlings.... and I hope they always continue to return to the wild of themselves.  One of my daily meditations includes a focus on returning to my own wild - my own natural state and embracing that and living it out loud each and every day.

Kindness Matters

It seems the further along we go in this year.... the more the concept of love and kindness keeps speaking to me.  With the election, the pandemic, and the necessary recognition and addressing social inequities and racism in our country - the concepts of kindness, loving, and gentleness are things that often are moved to the back of the discussion when they are present at all.  Watching social media battles, the rare times I see televised commercials, and browsing through the masses of mail - all of these things have led me to spend a lot of time and thought focusing on simplicity and kindness in recent days and weeks.  

“I think probably kindness is my number one attribute in a human being. I’ll put it before any of the things like courage, or bravery, or generosity, or anything else… Kindness—that simple word. To be kind—it covers everything, to my mind. If you’re kind that’s it.” —Roahl Dahl

And as it so typically is - the simple fact is:  Kindness Matters

It may be all that matters.... It is what is at the root of us being compassionate and warm to ourselves and to others.  It's the difference between responding defensively and listening with openness.  It can make the difference between anger, violence, and pain or a healing and growth and beauty.  The difference we can experience in our interactions with each other and in our communities overall when we make it our mission to respond first with kindness can be overwhelming.... 

Kindness is such a simple concept and yet so seemingly difficult to actually implement at times.  Being consistently kind and offering kindness to the world means being gentle and kind even when we are tired, frustrated, angry, and overwhelmed - kindness in all weather.... and kindness to ourselves and our loved ones but also most importantly - kindness to those who are not like us, who push us out of our comfort zone, who disagree with us.... in all settings.... 

“As for…the fear that compassion will involve you in suffering, counter it with the realization that the sharing of sorrow expands your capacity to share joy as well. When you callously ignore the suffering of others, you lose the capacity to share their happiness, too.”—Albert Schweitzer

I can remember my mom telling me that if I couldn't say something kind then maybe I shouldn't say anything at all - it is one of the many snip-its that she passed on to me that still resonates in my head as I move through life - and while I don't always achieve it.... I do strive... and yes if you have seen me get quiet, sometimes it's because I'm working on following this mantra :)  I remind myself that I do know what others are struggling with or working through at any given time - so meeting frustration and anger with a similar response does nothing to help any of us, rather if I can step back, breathe and greet those negative emotions with gentleness and kindness and compassion then we have a chance to climb over the wall together or at least minimize the damage and pain to each other.  This can be particularly challenging when we feel attacked, shamed, or wounded by another person - or when we feel anger and frustration at others behaviors or opinions.  Too often in our technology focused world - it's easy to let ourselves slip into those places of negative anger responses - throwing words and reactions at people that are meant to incite and challenge rather than build connection and support.  It's so easy to share those 'silly memes' that actually shame someone, or pit one group against another, or belittle a group.... rather than thinking and holding back on those inflammatory type simple shares and thinking more about how to share warmth (or as mom said - just say nothing).

“My wish for you is that you continue. Continue to be who and how you are, to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness. Continue to allow humor to lighten the burden of your tender heart.” —Maya Angelou

But kindness to everyone, kindness in general - to those who disagree with you, to those who have hurt you, to those you disagree with, to yourself and our world..... It is a simple and yet very deep, challenging practice - but it is the only thing that can make a difference in our world. We need to stop sharing the memes that pit one against the other, that pit parents against teachers, that shame each other, and that seek to shame or wound.... Instead we focus on supporting and showcasing those moments of support and engagement, of kindness and healing, of why kindness to others matters, and of how we can spread more support, caring, and kindness.  Kindness is the one thing we can all do to heal wounds, to protect and care for each other, and to have impacts internally, locally, and globally....

To be kind to others, we must first be gentle and kind to ourselves - sometimes I think this is the hardest thing to do!  We must first be gentle and kind to ourselves - when we struggle, fall, face-plant, and stumble - taking care of ourselves, encouraging and supportive as well as understanding so that we can continue to rise again and continue moving forward.  Only when we are kind to ourselves can we be truly kind and gentle with others.  

“Kindness eases change.

Love quiets fear. 

And a sweet and powerful 

Positive obsession 

Blunts pain, 

Diverts rage, 

And engages each of us 

In the greatest, 

The most intense 

Of our chosen struggles.” 

― Octavia E. Butler, Parable of the Talents