We are gifts.... We are enough....

I am me.... and that alone is my gift, my power, my journey, and my blessing...

“When you're different, sometimes you don't see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn't.”

― Jodi Picoult, Change of Heart

So often we forget to listen and to appreciate all that we are.... We get caught up in what society tells us we should be, how we should be.... I have found myself too often documenting what society says are my flaws and trying to dim or change them -

I will be too curvy, too messy, too loud, too quiet, too spontaneous, to hippie, too sexual, too unorthodox, too free, too loving, too emotional, too strong, too independent, not independent enough, too soft, too tender, too gentle, too open, too forgiving, too clutzy, too fat, too accident prone, too wild.... 

but all of that is mine to be... that is the way I am shaped and the gifts that have been given me, that is the unique dynamic that is mine alone.  I do not need to try to shape-shift to fit what society is trying to tell me to be....

and if I'm not deeply and truly and completely me then who am I?
Who am I to try to fit my round self into a too small square?

what beauty and freedom and gifts am I denying myself and those who truly see and love me if I do not fully embrace and live out who I am... We need to embrace our gifts, which often come from the very parts of ourselves that we think of as weaknesses or limitations or flaws (My emotionality is what gives me the strength to hold space for my loved ones in their times of storms).  Our limitations often allow us to have greater appreciation of our achievements (I may be curvy or fat but I can do a half marathon and hike for days)

what words and actions do I hide because I'm afraid that I and they will be too much for someone?  What does that cost in lost diversity and beauty in the world... When I dim my own flame - what am I shutting out for myself and for others?  When I assume that my rawness and being are too much - what am I costing myself? What am I hiding that someone else or myself may need in that moment?  When I think my hikes and meditations are too tender - what am I costing myself?

“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”

― C.G. Jung

There have been moments (actually significant chunks of time) when I have questioned whether I am really worthy to host hikes and meditations, to lead an evaluation company, or to host tango events.... I mean come on - I'm a country chick from Appalachia who is overly curvy (even at my slimmest) and clutzy and who is just now coming into her own with reading and studying deeper meditative works....

And yet - there are the moments when I slow down enough to listen to the universe and my own spirit and I find that: (1) I come out of my hikes and meditations more peaceful; (2) I connect with someone in a very powerful way at one of my hikes; (3) I slow down to realize that despite all my clutzy nature - I have friends and loved ones around the globe from my tango journey; (4) my heart is full from tango embraces even when I trip over my own feet but my partner laughs and hugs me tighter; (5) my client receives an award or grant because of work they are doing that they can show because of my work....And even more importantly - in all these areas I have met colleagues who add SOOOOO much to my own life and to the mosaic of each of the these areas because of our different voices/spirits/selves.....Recently, I led my monthly hike and meditation again - but on my own.... and the time in the woods reminded me of how important my own voice and life and experience was.....

“To realize one’s personal legend is one’s only true obligation.” – Paulo Coelho

Imagine a wildflower field with only one type of flower (sunflower fields are all the rage).... they are beautiful.... But the beauty of a field that is a riot of color from different flowers?  The beauty of a forest full of different trees?  The strength of an ecosystem that is made up of all different voices and creatures?  That is a thing of breathtaking beauty - And that is why each of us is a gift!!  Just as we are!!

Who are you?  What things do you discount about yourself and hide for fear of expectations? 

What are you denying yourself and others by hiding that unique flame and blossom?  

How can we each step more fully into ourselves so that we fully experience and gift ourselves all of those parts and experiences?  

How can we more fully appreciate each other in our fullness instead of contributing to the societal expectations and trying to fit our loved ones into boxes? 

“It took many years of vomiting up all the filth I’d been taught about myself, and half-believed, before I was able to walk on the earth as though I had a right to be here.”

― James Baldwin, Collected Essays: Notes of a Native Son / Nobody Knows My Name / The Fire Next Time / No Name in the Street / The Devil Finds Work / Other Essays

A year ago today - I lost one of my dearest friends.... I wish I had been able to say all of this to him... That he could have fully understood how valuable his voice was to us all and how grateful I am to have had his presence when he was here and his voice now helping keep me moving along my journey.... And how his voice helps me continue to find my way outside of the societal expectations and back to fully embracing who I am.... I wish he could have done the same and hope that where he is now he is able to finally be at peace with all of who he is....

Deep Roots and Crutches.... which tools to use....

There is a difference between the tools that we use that act as crutches - that keep us from falling too frequently or that serve to help us regain our balance quickly.... These are often things that we turn to first - we may even slip into a pattern of believing that they are what ground us.... But really they are just simple tools (much like crutches) that help us continue on our journey -

"she'd been fighting herself so long now, the idea of trusting herself seemed foreign. and yet....if she could trust...if she could just trust herself ~ she just might discover the best friend she's ever known" - Terri St. Cloud, Honor Yourself

What keeps us from falling over completely - are our roots - the things we do that fully and truly and deeply ground us.  These deep root tools are the ones that really 'take us to ground' and give us our true stability.  They are what allow us to truly continue our journey and grow to our strongest and most authentic selves....

 "i will accept the falls. embrace my scars. live my passion. i will not run." - Terri St. Cloud, Honor Yourself

 If we only utilize and focus on our daily tools - our crutches - then we run the risk of still falling over when things get really hard....

We must feed our deep roots - we must utilize those tools - regularly (not daily, but regularly) so that we maintain our strong deep grounding roots.  It is our roots that allow us to fall and get back up and continue growing.  It is our roots that allow us to integrate those falls and blemishes to create a richer deeper self instead of letting them crush us....

“The world will give you that once in awhile, a brief timeout; the boxing bell rings and you go to your corner, where somebody dabs mercy on your beat-up life.”

― Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees

It has taken this current pandemic environment for me to be able to recognize the difference between the two - to recognize the tools that I use as crutches and that keep me moving but don't really build my roots and those that actually strengthen me and ground me deeply.  I have had to transition to focusing more on the grounding tools than on the tools that are crutches.

“You create a path of your own by looking within yourself and listening to your soul, cultivating your own ways of experiencing the sacred and then practicing it. Practicing until you make it a song that sings you.”

― Sue Monk Kidd, The Dance of the Dissident Daughter

My crutches include - going out socially with friends, dancing, undertaking new projects and learning new skills, going to workshops, and those sorts of activities.  These are all things that I love doing and that do help me stabilize and are reinvigorating for me.  They are important things for me to be doing on a regular basis when I can...  However, they don't always help build my roots, the true deep grounding that I need.   They are typically external things - and are not something that is completely in my control to feed and engage with, they do not build my own deep grounded roots.



My deep root activities are much more cerebral and internal - reliant on myself and creating internal connection.  They include - extensive reading, meditation, physical activity, time in nature, writing/journaling, creatively producing (art, cooking, etc).  These are the things that ground me and feed my deep roots.  They are the things that I need to focus on so that I maintain a strong base and foundation to be able to weather any storm that comes.

“it was when I stopped searching for home within others and lifted the foundations of home within myself I found there were no roots more intimate than those between a mind and body that have decided to be whole.”

― Rupi Kaur

What are some of your tools?  Which ones are your crutches and which are your deep root tools?  How do you find balance in using and engaging with each of them?  Where do you need to spend more time and invest in creating or identifying new tools?  How often are you using each?

“There is no place so awake and alive as the edge of becoming. But more than that, birthing the kind of woman who can authentically say, 'My soul is my own,' and then embody it in her life, her spirituality, and her community is worth the risk and hardship.”

― Sue Monk Kidd, The Dance of the Dissident Daughter

Empathy, Compassion, and Growth.... Oh My!

So apparently I wasn't done with my rambling and processing of compassion, empathy, growth, and healing :)

Compassionate action involves working with ourselves as much as working with others.  Pema Chodron

What is real self-compassion?  This is something that has been asked to me since my last post - is it just an acceptance of yourself and embracing of yourself or is it something more?  Is it compassion if you only celebrate and see your own importance and value and don't admit any weakness or flaws?  For me, I think that the ability see your value is important, however, self-compassion involves being able to see, feel, and acknowledge your own weaknesses and flaws.  It means taking the time to really dig deep within ourselves to get uncomfortable and allow ourselves to explore and heal and accept those tender areas, those areas of weakness or wounds, those areas that are not perfect and to work on healing them and accepting them with a recognition of their existence and how that informs and influences our interactions with others.

The wretched have no compassion, they can do good only from strong principles of duty.

 Samuel Johnson

Are you truly practicing self compassion and gentleness if you do not see, acknowledge, and embrace your tender areas and your flaws?  Our flaws and tender areas are a key part of us - they are what give us the opportunity for growth and the gentleness to be able to reach out and hear and care for each other.... It is from these places that we can allow empathy to grow and flow from; It is only by recognizing our own tender areas and weaknesses that we can also see and support others from their own perspective.  Recognition of flaws, wounds, weaknesses and tender areas is key to truly being able to offer compassion to ourselves and then to others.

“Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek.” Dalai Lama XIV, The Art of Happiness

If you only see your value and it limits your ability to see others value and perspective; if we are so absorbed in our own value and privilege then we can become defensive and divisive when we perceive things to threaten that or to change the 'status quo' rather than being open and willing to see our own limitations and need for change.  It is only when we have true compassion and understanding of ourselves that we can open ourselves up so that we can truly see and hear our neighbors and loved ones and begin to move in a more caring, empathetic, and healing way - in a way that promotes growth instead of stagnation.  

“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.” - Pema Chödrön

Each day I see battles waged on social media with people defending how they do not want to wear a mask, they don't want to social distance, they are 'offended' because statues have been moved or because images that were used for logos have been changed and removed.... All of the comments focus on how things are 'being ruined' because they are being changed; rather than focusing on trying to understand how something may be painful or hurtful to a neighbor or friend and understanding that why so that we can move forward together.... Where is our compassion for each other?  Our empathy for each other?  If we can do something that reduces another's anxiety/stress/pain/discomfort and it doesn't hurt ourselves - why shouldn't we do that?  Why should our comfort and the status quo be more important than our neighbors?  These things may seem simple or benign but they way they are discussed and the way I see people talking to each other and more importantly ABOUT each other - shows a lack of compassion and consideration and a lack of opportunity for growth.  

"Compassion is not just feeling with someone, but seeking to change the situation. Frequently people think compassion and love are merely sentimental. No! They are very demanding. If you are going to be compassionate, be prepared for action!"

Desmond Tutu

How can you be gentle and compassionate with others and their tender areas if you do not also see your own?  If you only celebrate your perceived strength, value, and quality without also recognizing and sitting with your flaws and weaknesses then how can we ever grow as a community and as individuals?  It is only through recognizing and honoring those parts inside of us and the same inside of our neighbors that we can really start to move forward together and heal and grow.  And the world is showing us in so many ways right now that healing and growth is needed - we must stop killing and poisoning each other.... When we continually lash out at each other that our way is the right way, we must be right, we must maintain the status quo, and we can't listen to each other - when we respond from a divisive and protective place instead of an open, loving, compassionate place (to ourselves and others) then we continue to pour out selfishness and pain rather than healing and building ourselves and each other.  As so poignantly pointed out in "The Hate U Give" - 

“Pac said Thug Life stood for 'The Hate U Give Little Infants Fucks Everybody'.”― Angie Thomas, The Hate U Give

Where is the intersection of empathy with compassion and self-awareness and gentleness?  In a world where we see a growing lack of empathy for each other - how can we use true compassion for self and other to help heal and encourage each other?  Only through finding true compassion for self, can we actually develop empathy for others and find ways to hear and support each other.  That involves being able to truly recognize and work on our own wounds so that we can hear and respond compassionately to others.  

Compassion and nonviolence help us to see the enemy's point of view, to hear their questions, to know their assessment of ourselves. For from their point of view we may indeed see the basic weaknesses of our own condition, and if we are mature, we may learn and grow and profit from the wisdom of the brothers and sisters who are called the opposition. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Is your own bloom more important than the other flowers around you?  How can you help to encourage and embrace and enrich the rest of the garden if you only are concerned with maximizing your own recognition and sitting in comfort?  It is fascinating to watch flowers, fruits, and vegetables growing in the garden - how there are some that creatively and beautifully grow together, where being planted together provides for richer and more flavorable produce and blooms.  Watching blackberries and honeysuckle grow intertwined with each other are examples of how empathy and compassion can work together - these two vines manage to grow together sharing beauty and blossoms - creating a richer environment together.  Fig trees and wasps; cross pollination between different types of blueberries; beds of wildflowers that create a riot of color and beauty as well as food for bees.... How much richer is the environment when we provide space for all to flourish instead of only one.

"what is wrong with nationalism is not the desire to be master in your own house, but the conviction that only people like you deserve to be in the house"  Toni Morrison

Is comfort and a sense of self importance and extreme self-worth more important than a comprehensive understanding of who we are (flaws, tender areas, weaknesses and all) and our areas of discomfort?  How does that extreme limit our ability to grow and to expand on those areas that are tender?  How does this perspective and emphasis on comfort limit our abilities to connect to others outside of us and support them in their own growth?  How does it limit our ability to engage, connect, and enrich each other by learning from each other and using that to further our own growth as well as supporting our loved ones growth?  How much does that perspective of 'achievement' and 'arrival' to a place of compassion/gentleness and self worth limit our abilities to heal our neighborhoods and communities when they are in a place of pain or discomfort?

But if we have the energy of compassion and loving kindness in us, the people around us will be influenced by our way of being and living. Thich Nhat Hanh

Compassion.... a balm for wounds and a growth agent....

Over the past few months I find myself coming back over and over again to the concept of compassion and the need for understanding, patience, and gentleness with myself and with my friends, loves, and neighbors.... This period of time seems to be a time for us to really recenter and reconnect and heal ourselves.

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”

― Dalai Lama XIV, The Art of Happiness

I have found myself being my own harshest critic during this time of pause and reflection.  It took a very important person pointing out to me that I was harsher on myself than with anyone else and that I 'mushed' on others without also giving myself that same voice.  With the forced semi-isolation of the pandemic and the slower pace,  I find that I am forced to 'face the snake' and to really sit with myself and find ways to begin a focused practice of gentleness and self compassion.  I found myself revisiting the idea of 'would you talk to someone you loved that way?' when I would fall into cycles of negative self-talk.

For me, the greatest healing can only occur when I find that well of compassion and nurturing for myself, my inner child, my inner teenager (ugh, she's mean and petulant, but tender), and my inner crone.  Only through continual renewal and practice of personal compassion, am I able to be calm and quiet and heal wounds so that I can grow and stretch and expand.

“I can’t change where I come from or what I’ve been through, so why should I be ashamed of what makes me, me?” ― Angie Thomas, The Hate U Give

Being gentle and compassionate with ourselves means being patient and forgiving when we falter; forgiving ourselves when we fall in the mud, when we are messy, when we think we fail; focusing on being gentle with ourselves in our self talk and care instead of harsh and critical.  It means focusing on loving ourselves with a recognition of and appreciation for our imperfections.  Compassion and gentleness also means focusing on giving ourselves time and space to grow and heal as we need to - recognizing it does not have to happen on a set time frame or in a set pattern - it is a journey and can involve ups and downs and even revisiting areas we though healed.  It means giving ourselves permission and safety to continue growing and journeying in our own pace.

Without finding and practicing compassion for myself, I can't in turn truly freely offer it to others and provide the gentle, safe, healing space for them.  Without being able to listen and offer this type of gentleness and compassion to each other, how will we truly be able to move forward.... We have to be the change we want to see....

“True compassion does not come from wanting to help out those less fortunate than ourselves but from realizing our kinship with all beings.”

― Pema Chodron, Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living

So often over recent months, I find myself saddened to see how we are treating each other.  I hope that this time of pause gives us a moment to still ourselves and focus on self-compassion so that we can in turn be more patient and gentle with each other.  When we value each other and can listen to each other, there is so much we can learn and grow from.  With the pandemic and the increasing recognition of and efforts to address systemic racism in our country, I have heard so many harsh words towards people - a lack of listening to each other and finding places of empathy and support from which to move forward from.  Those with privilege wanting to maintain their privilege and avoiding hearing their Black and Brown neighbors and loved ones; people refusing to wear masks and social distance because of their own personal comfort; and people being increasingly aggressive and short with each other over any political issues.  The pain and separation and stagnation that this causes is painful to watch.

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”

― Mother Teresa

Imagine the growth and healing that can occur when we pause long enough to really listen to each other; to develop empathy and an understanding that we are each on our own journeys and someone may be at a difficult patch and need additional support; to be patient and kind simply because we do not know what our neighbors are struggling with.  We need to take the time and see our neighbors and loved ones, to really listen to their stories and experiences so that we can respond and care for them from a place of compassion and warmth - to begin true healing and growth.  Our choices are to insist on the status quo, to turn a deaf ear and blind eye to the pain and wounds our loved ones and neighbors have faced and are facing, and to insist on personal comfort over community caring - and we can watch our communities stagnate and continue wounding each other.  OR we can move forward and listen with compassion and gentleness and move forward to a place of growth and healing for everyone for the many major wounds and damage caused by racism and the major health risks from COVID - but also to provide a place and balm for healing and growth for all of the other wounds so many carry with them.

"Tolerance and compassion are qualities of fearless people"  Coelho

Is it so difficult to give up some personal comfort to help keep more people safe and healthy?  How can we find ways to listen to each other even on difficult topics?  What difference can it make in all

of our lives when we respond to each other with the assumption of gentleness and compassion instead of frustration?  How different might we respond with patience and gentleness to the neighbor who is struggling with major grief and is short tempered one day; or to cashier who was just attacked by the previous customer for something trivial; or to the customer service agent who is trying to help answer questions while also figuring out child care?  How much different will our lives be when we treat ourselves with patience and gentleness when we hit a tough section of the trail?  Instead of pushing our way through it, if we pause and rest and then move gently step by step, recognizing our need and right to rest and even to fall and skin our knees on occasion....

“Simplicity, patience, compassion.

These three are your greatest treasures.

Simple in actions and thoughts, you return to the source of being.

Patient with both friends and enemies,

you accord with the way things are.

Compassionate toward yourself,

you reconcile all beings in the world.”

― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

No need to fear fear....No need to fear wounds.....

Standing outside in the rain - tossing the ball back and forth with my daughter.... She catches a toss that was maybe a little harder than I meant for it to be and groans a bit when it hits her hand hard.... Then she stands up with a smile and laughs and says

"It's ok mom.... Getting bruised up is just a part of life"

and she tosses the ball back to me with a chuckle.... One of those precious unexpected mom win moments when you realize they do listen and absorb.  We later moved to the grass where we spun around in circles until we were all falling down and laughing, chuckling at the bug bites and scrapes from climbing over bricks, and bruises from who knows what.... and both of my daughters laugh and go "it's another story to tell."  YES - stories to tell, adventures to have, richness in experience and connection to be gained by embracing our fears, listening to them, and moving forward placing value on our wounds and experiences as part of the greater story that is all of us.

My daughter doesn't fear the injury or the wound - but rather accepts that it is a part of life and a part of the journey that shapes us as we grow.  She embraces the injury even as a story and opportunity for experience and learning and even includes the pain in part of the journey that is growth and life....If I can guide her to maintaining that perspective as she enters her teenage and young adult years - then I will consider it a job well done. 

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity.”― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

After all, embracing fear and moving forward in fear is something that we all struggle with.... I have struggled with it for years.  Building on my last post about change - much of our struggle with change has to do with our fear of the unknown, our fear of injury or bruising or being wounded....

Instead - what if we could step back and see fear as an opportunity.  An opportunity to be uncomfortable so that we recognize the need to change and grow, an opportunity to expand and push ourselves a little more, an opportunity to listen to the ourselves/our loved ones/the universe and recognize a need for a shift - maybe it's a shift to slow down or stop, or to move forward, or to learn new.  Several years ago, I was on the cusp of a major life change in all areas of my life - I was TERRIFIED of hurting my loved ones, of taking steps to create the life I craved, of failing miserably at really building my business and the type of life I wanted, of buying my own home.... And yet the longer I let that fear hold me in place - the more I did hurt my loved ones and the more uncomfortable and wounded I became.... When I did finally move and begin to lean into the fear and really face it, I realized the injuries may happen but that the beauty and grace and amazing life I was craving was just on the other side of that fear and those wounds and that this life could not exist without those wounds - they were necessary to allow me to really continue to move toward the life and business I wanted.  Today when I look at where I am personally and professionally, I feel incredibly blessed (and still a little scared I will mess it up - but that's ok because I now know the fear is part of the journey - it lets me know how valuable this all is, how precious it is, and how much work it is worth to both achieve and maintain).

“Don't be afraid of your fears. They're not there to scare you. They're there to let you know that something is worth it.” ― C. JoyBell C.

Fear does not and should not be something only negative - but rather another tool for us to be able to listen to and use and grow from.... to be able to pause with it and listen and consider and then respond in a way that helps us continue our journey.  Sometimes fear will lead us in ways where we are wounded - because we take a risk or we didn't take a risk when we should - but those wounds are also opportunities to learn and grow.  To be able to look back and recognize all the growth that has happened, the strength that exists in being able to face fear and move forward, and the ability to recognize achievements in the face of injury and fear - the sense of overcoming and flourishing despite challenges and injuries.... letting the fear and the wounds become part of the story.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

― Nelson Mandela

I have had many people make the comment to me that they do not live in fear and that is why they are not social distancing or wearing a mask and they refuse to do so.  They charge that because I do both of these things and encourage others to do the same, that I must be living in fear and teaching my daughters to do the same.  The more I contemplated these charges the more I realized that actually I do not fear for my own life, but I fear for my loved ones - and it is out of that concern for them that I do these things - my concern for others.  I'm listening to my 'fear' and letting it help me see what is the right course of action for my spirit.  For me, it is a braver thing to do the uncomfortable action of staying away from people (really hard for the person who loves to live alone but also craves human contact and touch) and wearing masks when I do go out - than it is to behave in a way that conveys only a self-preservation rather than a community minded preservation.  Rather than 'fearing fear', as some who are so vocal about not wearing masks seem to do - I choose to embrace any fears and to learn from them.... and often to move forward in spite of the fear but letting the fear inform how I move and with what thoughts and actions.

“Bran thought about it. 'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?'

'That is the only time a man can be brave,' his father told him.”

― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

Fear and injuries both contribute to us being stronger and gentler at the same time - recognizing both our strengths and abilities as well as our tender areas and limitations - finding the balance that allows for growth and achievement with humility so that we continue to support those with us on the journey.  Last year I was training for my first half marathon (I say first because I LOVED it and can't wait to do my next after COVID), and I took a risk that resulted in a pretty severe injury (ok I crossed a drainage creek barefoot, got a major thorn and an infection... email me if you want the ugly story LOL).  But I finished my run that day.... and despite being completely immobile for about a week and severely limited mobility for a month.... I completed my first half in under the goal I had set for myself.... It taught me things about facing my fears (I was terrified that morning of failing, of being last, of being hauled off the course in an ambulance) and about overcoming them.... it also kept me soft enough to be calling encouragement to my fellow walkers and runners over the 13.1 miles.... and it helped me see that in my softness is my strength....

I still face fears daily.... I fear my business failing, I fear getting lost in a country where I don't speak the language, I fear getting laughed at on the dance floor, I fear not being able to finish a race or course I start, I fear getting an injury out on the trail,  I fear getting an injury I don't bounce back from, I fear not being able to manage all the things that come with a house and land, I fear not being a good enough mom.... But you know what - I still do ALL these things and sometimes the worst even happens (I've been lost in countries I don't speak the language in - and managed to find someone I could communicate with who helped me and often became life long friends.... I've embarrassed the heck out of myself on the dance floor and yet had amazing friends and connections who embraced and loved on me and bring me back again and again.... I've gotten lost in the woods and found the importance of centering myself and using my navigation skills to get myself back even if it takes a lot longer) but sometimes the worst happening leads me to things that were even better and richer than if things had gone right.... and in all of the situations - I have come out richer in experience and love, stronger in who I am, and with a renewed sense of adventure, spirit, and connection....

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”― Marie Curie

What are your fears?  What wounds or injuries are you scared of that may stop you from something?  How different could life be if you moved with and into the place of fear and let all of the potential experience wash over you?  How much richer could life be?  How will you respond to fears and wounds?  How will you listen, absorb, and respond?  What role does fear play for you?

From - The Summer Day by Mary Oliver

....Tell me, what else should I have done?

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?

From - FEAR by Khalil Gibran

The river needs to take the risk

of entering the ocean

because only then will fear disappear,

because that’s where the river will know

it’s not about disappearing into the ocean,

but of becoming the ocean.

Change and Growth

Change is necessary, hard, beautiful, scary, and exhilarating....  We cannot continue to grow and flourish without change - we as humans, individuals, and collectively as community.  The more time I spend in nature and taking some quiet meditation time, the more I come back to the realization that change is a core part of existence - without change we wither and die.

“Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.” ― Maya Angelou

How do you embrace change?  How do you respond to changes in your personal life and to the bigger changes that are facing us individually and collectively?  I freely admit that I struggle with change - when I was younger my mom would worry over me because with every major life change my body responded with illness or anxiety - during my move to Georgia 24 years ago I developed severe acid reflux as I worried over the change.  However, I leaned into it - I didn't let the fear of change stop me.  Life has continued to teach me over and over again that while change is scary (I still struggle with change and am very thankful for patient friends who know and love me anyway), change brings amazing things.  By embracing change - I've learned and grown in both my personal beliefs and understanding of individuals and the world (a friend of mine laughs that I went from the most conservative to the most liberal hippie of our team), I've built a successful business that I am able to run my own way instead of as a 'suit', I have family I never forsaw and who have forever enriched my life,  I have travel and experiences that I never would have dreamed of, and I have a fabulous foundation of roots set by my family but freedom and wings to pursue other changes and dreams.  So yeah - change still scares me and sometimes I still stall.... but then I keep moving - into growth.....into blooming.....

For each of us - this embrace of change, growth, and blooming will look different.  Within each of us it may look different from experience to experience.... but we must allow it to flow and to move with it so that we can continue to grow and flourish.... What changes are you facing?  How can you embrace it or settle and flow with it?  What might the bloom on the other side look like?  What changes and growth can you look back on with new eyes and appreciate the growth that occurred because of the changes?

“When we resist change, it’s called suffering. But when we can completely let go and not struggle against it, when we can embrace the groundlessness of our situation and relax into its dynamic quality, that’s called enlightenment.”  Pema Chondron

Think about the changes we see around us in nature - the changing of seasons;  watching a caterpillar cocoon and re-emerge as a butterfly;  seeing the birth of a new animal or person; watching a bird hatch, watching the leaves change color, fall and then new growth emerge; the way tides and waves continually shift and change the nature of the seashore; the way wind and water and sun change the ground and create canyons.  Change can be slow and it can be drastic but it is necessary to keep life moving and for growth to occur.

Embracing change in big ways and small ways is critical to our making space and opportunity for growth - personally and as community... Changes in relationships, in ourselves, in our interactions with others....

So often we try to hide from this change, this discomfort - we seek to return to what is known and 'safe' rather than leaning into the growth.  We automatically reject or shy away from any ideas that do not fit with our current known or our comfortable, stable, consistent setting.... Trying to avoid change, to avoid seeing and shifting, and in effect - avoiding growing.

“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.” ― C. JoyBell C.

I think that we are seeing much of this in our country, in ourselves, and in our world right now - Being asked to change to help protect each other and ourselves (wearing masks, social distancing, digital learning and work) as well as to recognize injustices and to change ourselves and systems (addressing inequities, recognizing privilege, constantly learning and growing).  For may people this means changing the way they think and behave - Relearning what we thought we knew or what we had never known and incorporating that new knowledge into our behavior.

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” ― Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym

This is our opportunity to really stretch and grow - to change in order to better care for ourselves and our neighbors and community.... This period of significant change is an opportunity for us to spread our wings and embrace a period of growth and change.  Whatever is to come on the other side of this period will be new and different - it is up to us how much we want to lean into this period of change and growth.

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” ― Albert Einstein

In my martial arts class in college, I was going up for my belt test and I was terrified - my teacher looked at me and said he was glad I was so nervous - because it meant it mattered to me.  It's ok to be scared or nervous about change and growth - because it MATTERS and is important.

All that you touch

You Change.

All that you Change

Changes you.

The only lasting truth

is Change.

God is Change.” ― Octavia E. Butler