It seems the further along we go in this year.... the more the concept of love and kindness keeps speaking to me. With the election, the pandemic, and the necessary recognition and addressing social inequities and racism in our country - the concepts of kindness, loving, and gentleness are things that often are moved to the back of the discussion when they are present at all. Watching social media battles, the rare times I see televised commercials, and browsing through the masses of mail - all of these things have led me to spend a lot of time and thought focusing on simplicity and kindness in recent days and weeks.
“I think
probably kindness is my number one attribute in a human being. I’ll put it
before any of the things like courage, or bravery, or generosity, or anything
else… Kindness—that simple word. To be kind—it covers everything, to my mind.
If you’re kind that’s it.” —Roahl Dahl
And as it so typically is - the simple fact is: Kindness Matters
It may be all that matters.... It is what is at the root of us being compassionate and warm to ourselves and to others. It's the difference between responding defensively and listening with openness. It can make the difference between anger, violence, and pain or a healing and growth and beauty. The difference we can experience in our interactions with each other and in our communities overall when we make it our mission to respond first with kindness can be overwhelming....
Kindness is such a simple concept and yet so seemingly difficult to actually implement at times. Being consistently kind and offering kindness to the world means being gentle and kind even when we are tired, frustrated, angry, and overwhelmed - kindness in all weather.... and kindness to ourselves and our loved ones but also most importantly - kindness to those who are not like us, who push us out of our comfort zone, who disagree with us.... in all settings....
“As for…the
fear that compassion will involve you in suffering, counter it with the
realization that the sharing of sorrow expands your capacity to share joy as
well. When you callously ignore the suffering of others, you lose the capacity
to share their happiness, too.”—Albert Schweitzer
I can remember my mom telling me that if I couldn't say something kind then maybe I shouldn't say anything at all - it is one of the many snip-its that she passed on to me that still resonates in my head as I move through life - and while I don't always achieve it.... I do strive... and yes if you have seen me get quiet, sometimes it's because I'm working on following this mantra :) I remind myself that I do know what others are struggling with or working through at any given time - so meeting frustration and anger with a similar response does nothing to help any of us, rather if I can step back, breathe and greet those negative emotions with gentleness and kindness and compassion then we have a chance to climb over the wall together or at least minimize the damage and pain to each other. This can be particularly challenging when we feel attacked, shamed, or wounded by another person - or when we feel anger and frustration at others behaviors or opinions. Too often in our technology focused world - it's easy to let ourselves slip into those places of negative anger responses - throwing words and reactions at people that are meant to incite and challenge rather than build connection and support. It's so easy to share those 'silly memes' that actually shame someone, or pit one group against another, or belittle a group.... rather than thinking and holding back on those inflammatory type simple shares and thinking more about how to share warmth (or as mom said - just say nothing).
“My wish for you is that you continue. Continue to be who and how you are, to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness. Continue to allow humor to lighten the burden of your tender heart.” —Maya Angelou
But kindness to everyone, kindness in general - to those who disagree with you, to those who have hurt you, to those you disagree with, to yourself and our world..... It is a simple and yet very deep, challenging practice - but it is the only thing that can make a difference in our world. We need to stop sharing the memes that pit one against the other, that pit parents against teachers, that shame each other, and that seek to shame or wound.... Instead we focus on supporting and showcasing those moments of support and engagement, of kindness and healing, of why kindness to others matters, and of how we can spread more support, caring, and kindness. Kindness is the one thing we can all do to heal wounds, to protect and care for each other, and to have impacts internally, locally, and globally....
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