Why tango?

Recently I was hanging out with some good friends and a new acquaintance, when she asked me 'why tango?  I mean I've heard it's the hardest dance to learn, so why that as a new thing.'  We were on an escalator and my response was not the fabulous elevator speech that she was looking for but that is because my reasons for why Argentine tango are deeper and richer than I can convey in one pithy statement.  I settled for something a little joking and a little serious with my 'go big or go home' and 'because it really is a beautiful rich historical creative experience that is more than just a dance and lets me continue to grow and step into me.'  Tango has definitely been a core experience to my most recent reboot and reclaiming of my own spirit.

The experience left me revisiting some writings and musings I've done regarding tango over the past year and a half or so - influenced greatly by beautiful people, experiences, books, and blogs.  Not all of them will be in this post - will save some of the goodies and deep stuff for later- but I wanted to touch on at least a few of my reasons for why tango.... :)

1 - It doesn't come easy to me.  It is challenging physically and emotional.  For most of my life, I have been able to cherry pick experiences to find those that I could become proficient and even very skilled at with relatively little effort and discomfort on my part.  I'm not much of an athlete, but I found that some sports (basketball and volleyball) came easy to be - along with hiking and swimming - so that was where I focused my efforts.  Also - those are all sports that are readily accepting of those of us with curvier figures.  :)  Tango doesn't come easily - it requires a body knowledge that I have to work very hard at - all parts of it are physically challenging - from learning to hear and interpret the lead to understanding how to make my body move in the way I want (maintaining a straight axis, pivoting smoothly, dissociation between my shoulders and hips, keeping my weight over my metatarsal, etc etc etc).  I have to practice and practice and know that for every two steps forward I may end up taking a large step back.  It also challenges me to let myself be vulnerable around other people - both my partners, my teachers, and other dancers - to open myself up to possible critique (both of my physical body and of my dance ability).  To be open enough to hear and feel my leaders communication and direction and to respond, trusting him or her to accept/protect/and respond..... But at the end of it all, it's these growing opportunities that provide the most powerful components of tango for me.

2 - It's beautiful - the music, the history, the development, the connection, the movement.  The great music of the 20s - the passion and heart that is the range of emotional music is inspiring in a way that so much other music isn't.  Later I will expand more how much tango music reminds me of bluegrass, folk music, old R&B, jazz - the music that arose out of  a need to convey a shared experience and so much emotion as well as to bring some joy and pleasure and communication out of an otherwise challenging environment.  Beatriz Dujovne describes the history and depth of tango so beautifully in her book "In Strangers' Arms" - and it is this complexity that makes tango so beautiful - it's like a multilayered blanket made with so many different threads, textures, and colors that you can spend a lifetime with it and still feel like you are just discovering it and yourself.

"A fully lived tango is all about the exaltation of a human connection at the primitive level of our senses, movements, and reflexes.  It sublimates our bases instincts, which actually interfere with dancing, and draws out our memories, histories, and sentiments....g In Strangers Arms pg 86

3- It makes me face my own deep struggles with self image and self worth.  All of my life I have struggled with self image issues - I was relating a story to some friends last night about how when I was in 5th or 6th grade, one of the 'cute boys' in the class, someone I considered a friend, asked me if I would like to go to the upcoming dance with him - I was shocked and flattered (particularly cause I was the chunky girl even then).  The next day, he and all of the cool girls, came up to me and were chuckling 'you didn't really think he meant it right?  he was just joking and playing - he would never go with you.'  The sting of that experience (and others like it) left a mark that I still struggle against today.  Tango is full of amazingly beautiful men and women - and it is a dance and experience that emphasizes femininity and masculinity as well as elegance, beauty, and gracefulness.  All things that I do not traditionally associate with myself.  Entering a milonga or even a tango workshop and having to put aside my historical issues with self image and worth and remember - as one of my favorite tango instructors told me - that I am a Queen and should be treated as such regardless of experience level, I should walk out there with the air that I am beyond worthy of any dance and that my partner is as lucky to get to dance with me as I am with them.... Tango challenges me to continually strengthen my own view of self worth and image so that I can enter the environment with that sense of beauty, power, and vulnerability all mixed together - vulnerability to allow me to connect with another person/music/group, power to take control of my own experience (inviting, accepting, and declining invitations as I feel led to in that moment), and an acute awareness and appreciation of the broad range of beauty, grace and elegance that can and does exist in all of us.  There are still days where I enter a class or milonga or other event and question if I fit, but as my teacher said - raise your head and your eyes and own that floor and experience, you are worthy and they are lucky....

4 - Connection - The connection to the music (musicality is a challenge for me but is so much fun and the music is so beautiful and expressive), to the room full of other dancers, and to our partner.  Social tango - Argentine tango is all about connection.  I am a people person and connection is a huge part of my life and something that strengthens and fuels me.  However, it is also something that can be challenging because it does require so much vulnerability.  It is this vulnerability and the connections that occur again and again through the dance that is so incredible and when it occurs - leaves us wanting more.  After my divorce, the desire and yet struggle for this type of connection became more poignant and powerful.  It also made me more aware of when connections are real and there is connection and listening on both sides - shared connection - and the beauty and power in that type of experience.

"The unknown can descent upon us and leave us disoriented.  Before we have begun to find our way to the inner tango, it can even confuses us or leave us terrified.  But without the unknown, there can be no surprise and no delight.  Dancers get to know it, because it's how every embrace begins: with a discovery of the other." In Strangers Arms pg 87.

Most importantly - for me - Argentine tango is a physical expression of all of life and experience and emotion shared together with another person and group of people, it's more than just the physical movement of the dance it's the connection to the music (sometimes just listening and watching is filling) and to other people....my dance is strengthened, smoother, gentler, and warmer when I allow all of who I am and what I feel to connect with the music, environment and partner.

A dear friend of mine once said that 'real life was getting in the way of her tango life' and I laughed with her and reassured her that real life was tango life - we cannot truly have a full tango life without embracing all that is our lives.... mom, entreprenuer, neurotic, silly, outdoorsy, empathetic, caring - all that flows through and improves the experience. We just need to settle into our own spirits and tango on....