Home and Family

I have been reading a book of Native American/Indigenous Cultures poetry during my morning meditation time recently.  This morning I read one that really touched me deeply and also started my mind spinning.  (see the bottom of the post for the full poem).

Much of my work throughout my career has focused on public health and child welfare, and often there will be several generations and branches of families living together for a wide range of reasons but primarily because it works for them.  I often envied the families who have multiple generations living together and supporting each other.  However, as I grew older and my personal life and work life expanded, I was surprised by how many people held a very negative perception of the extended family homes.  

Living in the United States I have heard the debate about housing and multigenerational/multi family housing for years - even now there are people on social media in the neighborhoods around me who yell 'not in our neighborhood'... Or complaints about the house that people 'suspect' has what they consider too many people living there.  There are protests and city ordinances that are put into place to limit or to try to define single family occupancy housing.  To be honest though - housing policies are not my area of specialty (that's more in the food access and child welfare arena).... I know just enough to be dangerous, and to see the hurt in the face of families who are struggling to find housing that is deemed 'appropriate' for raising children regarding space.

But growing up in Appalachia - this was the way so many of the families that helped raised me lived (it is a community raising a child not an individual).... 

Today I do not have biological family that would come live with me, although if my mom was alive I would bring her to live with me (it was part of the plan to move her near us when she passed).  However, I have and will always have open doors for my chosen family to have a safe place to live when they want.  

How often do we take the time to get to know our neighbors?  To find ways to support and encourage them?  To understand how interconnectedness works and supports them?  If we can redefine how we think about housing and family and community support - what differences can we make in homelessness and insecure housing in this country?   How can we begin to change how we view ALL of our neighbors, not just those who live as we do?  How can we begin to really see each other as people and to find ways to support each other regardless?  

The Housing Poem by Dian Million

Minnie had a house
which had trees in the yard
and lots of flowers
she especially liked the kitchen
because it had a large old cast iron stove
and that
the landlord said
was the reason
the house was so cheap.

Pretty soon Minnie's brother Rupert came along
and his wife Onna
and they set up housekeeping in the living room
on the fold-out couch,
so the house warmed and rocked
and sang because Minnie and Rupert laughed a lot.

Pretty soon their mom Elsie came to live with them too
because she liked being with the laughing young people
and she knew how the stove worked the best.
Minnie gave up her bed and slept on a cot.

Well pretty soon
Dar and Shar their cousins came to town looking for work.
They were twins
the pride of Elsie's sister Jo
and boy could those girls sing. They pitched a tent under
the cedar patch in the yard
and could be heard singing around the house
mixtures of old Indian tunes and country western.

When it was winter
Elsie worried
about her mother Sarah
who was still living by herself in Moose Glen back home.
Elsie went in the car with Dar and Shar and Minnie and Rupert and got her.
They all missed her anyway and her funny stories.
She didn't have any teeth
so she dipped all chewable items in grease
which is how they're tasty she said.
She sat in a chair in front of the stove usually
or would cook up a big pot of something for the others.

By and by Rupert and Onna had a baby who they named Lester,
or nicknamed Bumper, and they were glad that Elsie and Sarah
were there to help.

One night the landlord came by
to fix the leak in the bathroom pipe
and was surprised to find Minnie, Rupert and Onna, Sarah and Elsie, Shar and Dar
all singing around the drum next to the big stove in the kitchen
and even a baby named Lester who smiled waving a big greasy piece of dried fish.

He was disturbed
he went to court to evict them
he said the house was designed for single-family occupancy
which surprised the family

because that's what they thought they were.

https://www.talkingpeople.net/tp/literature/million/dianmillion.html