February: Just a month or a way of walking through life.... Black History Month, Heart Month, Love and Being Part 1

This post is one that I really want to write but that I am also very nervous about sharing.... life has taught me that often in those cases, I need to do the hard thing and to write and share.... 

First let me own the place from which I write this - I am a white woman, now with a comfortable middle class income.... with that comes a lot of privilege.  I was raised in Appalachia and grew up in a culture with some significant biases, racism, and systemic issues - my parents worked hard to teach us and raise my brother and I with more open and loving perspectives but in hindsight I can see flaws even in those lessons.  So I am working on changing things for my daughters and continuing to move the work forward.... Life journeys have brought me to a place where most of my family of choice are Black and Brown families who love myself and my daughters more than any blood relatives could.  

There are a lot of things I still have to learn, a lot of times that I don't do it right, a lot of times that I need my loved ones to 'check me' .... But it is part of the journey and I hope to continue the growth and help be part of the change for future generations....

Black History Month movie recommendations

I recently posted about how my daughters and I have decided to be more thoughtful about our movie selections during February to include some specific films that have strong Black leads and that address both Black history and Black lives.  (Below are some links to great recommendations from that post). For me and my family, I think it is important to share book/movie and other items that we can use to expand our understanding and perspective.  As I watched comments come in a couple of key thoughts occurred to me:

* Another friend posted a meme that every month is about Black history - February is just an anniversary to celebrate it.  This made me think twice about my post but it also made me think about the way I talked about our movie selections with my daughters.  To make sure that we talk about how, we want to watch these movies regardless of the time of year/month.  And it also made me realize that many of the movies that were recommended were ones that we have already watched (and are re-watching).  Regardless of race, movie selections about Black lives, with strong Black leads and primarily Black casts should be part of all of our regular movie viewing along with discussions of concepts and questions that our kids have.  

* Talk with our kids about what they see or what they haven't been exposed to before.  I think we often protect our children who are used to lives of privilege, films can often provide windows and doors to talk about topics that are hard for kids to discuss or understand.  My daughters had me pause "Oh Brother Where Art Thou" to explain some of the key scenes that addressed racism and the KKK (they did not know what that was prior to that movie).... During Harriet, we paused it multiple times for them to ask questions about things that were being done to people and to give my youngest a chance to breathe through it.  When the girls came in while I was watching Lovecraft Country, it gave us a chance to talk about Black Wall Street and the traumas that have occurred in recent history.  

* Listen to your Black and Brown friends!  The recommendations that came from Black friends were more powerful in some ways for me. I received some private notes and recommendations as well.  These recommendations covered the spectrum of movies to watch.  While I appreciated the recommendations from my white friends, it was from those with lived experience that meant a great deal to me.  In addition, these friends provided articles and insights into movies that often my white friends love but that still have some problematic portions.  Understanding all sides helps me to understand and navigate watching and talking about them with my daughters.

* Include some lightness and other options, my youngest daughter is very tender hearted and while she enjoys watching the heavier movies and understands the need understand and feel the history (I am totally introducing her to Madam CJ Walker this week - be prepared to hear about the Goddess Madam when it's all done), she likes to have something light in between.  It's important to me to normalize movies where the cast is primarily Black - which means movies like the new Dr. Dolittle series (we are up to 3.... we may have jumped the shark but she loves them) and the Are We There Yet? series as moments of laughter and lightness.  I'm thankful for my Black friends who sent me some recommendations for those types of movies as well.... :) 

Here are some of the recommendation lists that we received, feel free to add any other recommendations in the comments - we love these all year long!

• https://lifehacker.com/10-movies-you-need-to-watch-during-and-after-black-hi-1846157277
• https://millennialindebt.com/lifestyle/greatest-black-movies-every-young-adult-needs-to-see?fbclid=IwAR1kfWXPimvUk_aUSOKLFlebmAwNbYlCV71TbqTkueC-CwzY_xRnda8xvOg
• Hidden Figures
• Loving
• The Color Purple
• Black Panther
• Akeelah and the Bee
• Roll Bounce
• When they see us
• The Hate You Give
• Selma
• Malcom X
• Ray
• Dream Girls
• Soul
• The Help
• Fences
• 13th
• Good Trouble

This is long enough now - so we will save the Heart Month, Love and Being for the next post - But to tie them all together.... It makes so much sense to me to tie Black History and Heart month together - for so many reasons:

• let us call attention to health disparities
• let us learn to really love one another and hold one another safe and close
• love is so much bigger than romantic love.... and we need to learn to turn that love and depth of love to our communities, to work stridently to heal wounds, broaden hearts, protect and repair all the damage done over the years.... 

Support Black Businesses all year long!  

https://www.websiteplanet.com/blog/support-black-owned-businesses/