Safety....

The last few years have been a profound exploration out of my comfort zone only to realize that my own sense of safety is most complete when I'm out of the traditional safe spaces.  Over the past few months the concept of safety and travel and our interactions with each other has been more and more vivid for me.

The concept of safety -
Recently as I was watching pictures of various people's international travels I was struck by the different ways that people enjoy traveling and think about travel, new experiences, and safety.
For many people, safety means a physical safety - feeling physically safe from crime and surrounded by people who look and act like themselves (or at least in a group that is similar demographically).  And I see this regardless of race or gender in some of the stories and pictures I see about people's various travels.  Even those who want to, and are able to, travel internationally seek a whitewashed experience. They seek out tourist versions of the culture rather than the more realistic experience. I have even been guilty of this myself at times, until arriving at the location and realizing how sterile and unauthentic it felt to me. Physical insecurity, traveling and wandering in the unknown can feel very unsafe and therefore scare for many people.

It is interesting to think how common this is - people seek experiences that are a little new but still comfortable.  How much do people lose by having this limited view?  What beauty and depth are we missing when we stay in our comfort zone?  How much richer can our experiences be when we stop seeking 'safety'?

"I'm not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world."  Mary Anne Radmacher

It was only recently that I realized that these 'safe' settings don't feel safe and comfortable to me.  Seeing someones pictures of travel to a beautiful country with a rich history of immigration  and a diverse culture - and the pictures showed a lot of newer buildings or even older buildings that felt cool, and a little sterile, the buildings felt nuevo and immaculate (perfect floors, cool white walls and pillars) rather than the beautiful old architecture, the streets alive (and yes dirty even) with a range of people, birds, and dogs....Streets that may look a little 'sketchy' but have so much beauty contained in the people (even in the catcalls) and old buildings and even the graffiti in some places.... Why would I travel to such a beautiful place to visit in areas (museums, schools, etc) where I was surrounded by classes of people just like me - instead of seeking opportunities to meet in smaller settings and listening to the language and banter and life of the city as I ramble?  Well - because my idea of safety is different I realized....I often do not feel safe or comfortable in settings that are the most comfortable for others.  It is in those settings that I feel the most vulnerable, the most judged, and anxious and unsafe.  It is in those settings that I often feel the most critiqued and constrained.  Safety for me is intrinsically tied to emotional safety and a sense of warmth and acceptance.

For many travelers (is this true for travelers in other countries too?  or is it an American thing?), safety is found staying on the tourist side of town, where the experience is controlled and safe, where there are others who like you are experiencing this new place, or even traveling with a tour. 

The pictures of people's adventures that capture my heart and interest - are the ones where there is a sense of warmth, history, the reality and beauty of wear and angst and warmth and comfort. The sense of comfort comes from a sense of acceptance and embracing of all that has led to the current state - an acceptance and celebration of the strength and integrity of well lived and loved and experienced space that looks like it will hold all of my own wanderings and imperfections with a sense of support and warmth bread from history. Likewise - pictures of the reality of town - of parks and streets with litter, animals,  and grafitti (often very fascinating and beautiful itself) and everyday people out enjoying and moving through the day, listening the to squabbles and discussions of locals as they move through the day. The picture of a simple sandwich and cafe from the small neighborhood bodega, wandering through a local bookstore where I can't read a quarter of the titles but it feels of age and home.... architecture that has stood for centuries and stands testament to the strength and challenge and beauty of  the place, the pain and connection and creation of a space and history....The local who works at a newstand on the corner and catcalls throughout the week as I'm wandering but also starts to recognize which drink I typically order.... This sense of life, warmth, history and acceptance - this connecting one on one with people, local people who enrich my own experience and are willing to share part of the simple beauty of everyday life....Some of my favorite memories are trips where I've been able to stay with someone local - and I look for opportunities to do this where the room and space echos the local flavor and history and feeling.

For me - safety when traveling means feeling comfortable, accepted, warm, free to explore, challenged to grow, and real, authentic.  Sometimes (most often) real is dirty and messy and a little uncertain (scary?).  Is it an oxymoron that safety and insecurity can occur simultaneously? For   me there is safety in the unknown of the open and real - whatever it brings - I, as long as I'm authentically me - will see and understand what is real and honest.  Real is accepting and honest.  It is always there and evolving but is consistently real.  In it's honesty is all the souls that have lived and experienced and survived it - often strengthened or comforted by it.  Real is safety in its history and its evolving nature.

I'd rather travel and feel my kind of safe in experincing a deep personal connection and growth with local people and authentic experiences than travel in a sterilized and limited environment.  When I think of experiences and trips that feel safe to me, they are the trips that feel the most authentic where I am free to be my messy authentic self.  They are the trips where I have met and made lasting connections to people and places and cultures that are authentic to that place and time. The trips where I have had the freedom and time to wander and absorb and feel the connection to the current people and culture as well as the depth of history, to smell and feel and breathe in the everyday sights and smells and tastes.  There is beauty and strength in the mundane.  Being given the ability (permission?) to enter the community and experience the real everyday experience is the richest, safest travel I have ever encountered. These opportunities allow me to feel connected and enriched by another history, beauty, and experience and another home.  To feel and be accepted and allowed to experience another history only builds my own compassion and richness of life even broader and deeper - enriching empathy and letting me see even more beauty in the complex world. 

This is safety to me - Real Relationships and Experiences - experiencing the real and authentic - seeing the beauty in the reality.  Experiencing, accepting, and being accepted - this is beauty and safety and comfort - this is HOME in all of its settings.  This is also why for me - the natural world with its flowing history and strength and support for us humans (and our support of it) is the ultimate safe space for me - it's the most authentic setting you can find and the most accepting.  But that is another post for another time.... :)

Thanks for reading - until next time....