Tango and family

A little over a year ago, I found myself drawn to Argentine tango as I have mentioned in my previous blog.  My attraction to this complex, beautiful dance and culture has only grown the more I have studied, explored and experienced.  At the same time I have been thinking about how this rich experience, it's draw for me, and connection for me is interwoven and informed by my experiences and familial history.

Beatriz Dujovne in her book "In Strangers' Arms"  (a beautiful read and exploration of tango and relationships regardless of whether you ever dance a step or not) discusses the complexity of the history of tango as well as the depth and complexity of the tango experience.

"The tango is, for me, a cocoon of sweetness, an instinctive innocence with a touch of mischief, a beauty, a might."

As I read through her book, through the discussion of the rich history of tango evolving from the variety of immigrant cultures/experiences/and music influencing its development, through the unique role of connection, playfulness, improvisation, and emotional expression that are defining features for this complex and beautiful experience, I begin to understand why this dance has drawn me in when no other has.  It begins to become clear to me why this is the dance, culture, and feelings that are continually pulling me back to challenge myself, to understand myself, and to seek out this experience.

Tango represents a beautiful fusion of cultures and experiences - sought after by people who were seeking a home, to create a sense of familiarity and connection.  I think it is this observation that I connected to first in the book and recognized an experience that draws together people who are seeking that type of home and connection and depth.  My early life experiences led me to see and value a melding of cultures and experiences and to continually seek out that human connection.

My grandmother was always a traveler and seeker of experiences - I can remember her telling stories of high tea in England and Scotland when she traveled when I was a young child.  I can also remember her exuberance when one winter when we were having a very thin Christmas, she was invited to go bear hunting with our family friend.  My grandmother reveled in spending the day riding in an old pick-up truck around mountain roads, followed up by an evening of eggnog and teaching my 13 year old self to play poker.  She sought out human connection whereever she found it - and took everyone at face value.

My dad approached life and relationships the same way - he adored human connection, banter, debate and had the most playful nature.  He also drew people to him from all walks of life.  And he wanted to learn.  I get my ineptness but love of languages from him - he tried to learn Spanish for years, finally even traveling to Mexico for several months.  However, apparently it never stuck.  :)

One of the most gregarious and loving people I knew was my German Uncle (friend turned family) who never met a stranger - I was in high school when he 'adopted' a Russian circus that found itself stranded in Atlanta around one of the long holiday weekends.  He traded them a weekend of hospitality in exchange for good conversation, some fun shows, and general community building.  Because that's what he felt you did - when you could afford to (and even when you couldn't) - you took care of others and you built connections and relationships.

He was also the one who took me aside when I was about 16, 6 or so years after my dad had passed, and talked to me about how my parents had had a very passionate and intense relationship - it was one that reflected their deep passion for life and each other - but because of the passion it was volatile.  They fought as hard as they loved.  When I listen to the tango music and read tango lyrics - it's this same passion (for life, for people, for experiences - the pain and the pleasure part of passion) that I see reflected; it is passion that keeps people seeking this experience (not necessarily sexual but a passion for living and connecting).

I was a recent transplant to Applachia when my father died - leaving us feeling very adrift - and yet - again connection and relationships and sharing is what helped transition us through.

This history of experiences and seeking of home and connection, laid a fertile ground for tango to root in my spirit and to pull me toward greater connection and experience and an enrichment of life..... Life has not always been easy - but it is this fusion of the challenging, the grief, the joy, and the richness of life that adds to the beauty of life and of tango.  I'm thankful for the experiences that made me who I am today and that my journey to find that sense of home and that connection has continued to guide me and has brought me to tango..... ahhh to see where the next tanda leads.... :)