Deep Roots and Crutches.... which tools to use....

There is a difference between the tools that we use that act as crutches - that keep us from falling too frequently or that serve to help us regain our balance quickly.... These are often things that we turn to first - we may even slip into a pattern of believing that they are what ground us.... But really they are just simple tools (much like crutches) that help us continue on our journey -

"she'd been fighting herself so long now, the idea of trusting herself seemed foreign. and yet....if she could trust...if she could just trust herself ~ she just might discover the best friend she's ever known" - Terri St. Cloud, Honor Yourself

What keeps us from falling over completely - are our roots - the things we do that fully and truly and deeply ground us.  These deep root tools are the ones that really 'take us to ground' and give us our true stability.  They are what allow us to truly continue our journey and grow to our strongest and most authentic selves....

 "i will accept the falls. embrace my scars. live my passion. i will not run." - Terri St. Cloud, Honor Yourself

 If we only utilize and focus on our daily tools - our crutches - then we run the risk of still falling over when things get really hard....

We must feed our deep roots - we must utilize those tools - regularly (not daily, but regularly) so that we maintain our strong deep grounding roots.  It is our roots that allow us to fall and get back up and continue growing.  It is our roots that allow us to integrate those falls and blemishes to create a richer deeper self instead of letting them crush us....

“The world will give you that once in awhile, a brief timeout; the boxing bell rings and you go to your corner, where somebody dabs mercy on your beat-up life.”

― Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees

It has taken this current pandemic environment for me to be able to recognize the difference between the two - to recognize the tools that I use as crutches and that keep me moving but don't really build my roots and those that actually strengthen me and ground me deeply.  I have had to transition to focusing more on the grounding tools than on the tools that are crutches.

“You create a path of your own by looking within yourself and listening to your soul, cultivating your own ways of experiencing the sacred and then practicing it. Practicing until you make it a song that sings you.”

― Sue Monk Kidd, The Dance of the Dissident Daughter

My crutches include - going out socially with friends, dancing, undertaking new projects and learning new skills, going to workshops, and those sorts of activities.  These are all things that I love doing and that do help me stabilize and are reinvigorating for me.  They are important things for me to be doing on a regular basis when I can...  However, they don't always help build my roots, the true deep grounding that I need.   They are typically external things - and are not something that is completely in my control to feed and engage with, they do not build my own deep grounded roots.



My deep root activities are much more cerebral and internal - reliant on myself and creating internal connection.  They include - extensive reading, meditation, physical activity, time in nature, writing/journaling, creatively producing (art, cooking, etc).  These are the things that ground me and feed my deep roots.  They are the things that I need to focus on so that I maintain a strong base and foundation to be able to weather any storm that comes.

“it was when I stopped searching for home within others and lifted the foundations of home within myself I found there were no roots more intimate than those between a mind and body that have decided to be whole.”

― Rupi Kaur

What are some of your tools?  Which ones are your crutches and which are your deep root tools?  How do you find balance in using and engaging with each of them?  Where do you need to spend more time and invest in creating or identifying new tools?  How often are you using each?

“There is no place so awake and alive as the edge of becoming. But more than that, birthing the kind of woman who can authentically say, 'My soul is my own,' and then embody it in her life, her spirituality, and her community is worth the risk and hardship.”

― Sue Monk Kidd, The Dance of the Dissident Daughter